Mum,Mom, Mommy, Momma

Something happens when you become a mother. Veteran moms tell you that you will never be the same again; your life will now revolve around your children and sometimes you even get lost in the mix of motherhood in the early years. But until you actually hold that baby in your arms, I don’t think that we as moms fully grasp the full meaning of motherhood. And from that moment on we will continually add, adjust and even manipulate our role as a mother so that it makes sense to us and works for our new family. I’d like to go down memory lane for a bit and tell you of an experience I had about 6 months before my first child—my little Miss was born. I was standing in front of the mirror, trying on my favorite skirt and shirt and having a complete meltdown! I couldn’t fit in it. The zipper wasn’t zipping up! And I felt ugly and fat! Was I really ugly and fat? Of course not! I was pregnant, with hormones and at that moment I was more concerned about how I looked—because prior to being pregnant that was where my focus was. I couldn’t see past the weight gain, let alone credit it to my growing womb and the beautiful baby girl that was going to be in my life in about six months. Now, my dear husband reassured me that I was beautiful and that I was the most beautiful woman to him because I was carrying his child. That got me through the night and many more changes that happened to my body throughout the next few months of pregnancy. Looking back now, that was probably the simplest change and smallest adjustment that I had to make—realizing that my body was not going to be the same again. Where once was slim, was now out and protruding. Having energy was a thing of the past. And me time was something that I would forget about for a few years. Now, if you’re not a mom yet, you’re probably thinking, ‘Oh boy! Maybe motherhood is not for me!’ Perhaps not yet, but when you hold your little one for the first time, you’ll be hooked! The only love at first sight I really believe in is love at first sight when you lay eyes on your baby for the first time. When I held my little Miss, my heart felt like it would burst. She was the most beautiful child I had ever held. She was p.e.r.f.e.c.t. She could do no wrong in my eyes (that would change) and I would love her no matter what (that has not changed) and she gave me a reason to be a better person. I was no longer just a young married woman. I was now a mommy—her mommy. I reveled at the title, ‘Mommy,’ and had it in a sing-song in my head for the next two weeks. I was in awe that I (with my husband’s help) made a perfect child and brought her into this world. It was nothing short of a miracle. As we drove away from the hospital a few days later, my husband joked, “Now we just need a son!” Nineteen months later I became a mother once again. And once again it was love at first sight, and I was again in awe at the sweet little boy I held in my arms and that I was his mom. He along with his slightly older sister needed me—not just to meet their everyday needs, but they also needed my love, attention and support. I was no longer the same person I had been nineteen months earlier. I was a better version of myself, self-taught in my new role of being a mom, and better yet I now had a much fuller life and felt that I was who I had always wanted to be. Was it always sunshine and rainbows? Of course not. In fact some of those times involved bodily fluids, slobbery kisses and tantrums galore. But I wouldn’t change any of it for the world. Fast forward almost nine years later…. Nine years later… My little miss is just a few years from being a young lady and my little bug is a rambunctious almost seven year old that lives for pizza, video games and sports. There are different challenges these days and I’m not the same mom I was when they were first born. Their needs have changed and so have I as that change requires. It’s been kind of a trial and error phase. Children at this age definitely like to test the boundaries… correction love to test the boundaries. Sometimes I find myself at a lost at what to do, and other times I know just what to do. What may work for a few weeks suddenly doesn’t and no matter what I always need to bring my A-Game (Go USU Aggies) when it comes to being their mom. It’s not a clock-in/clock-out job. It’s a 24/7 job and even in my sleep, I tend to keep an eye open and my ears alert because they sometimes call out to me at night, and more often than not also crawl into my bed. I savor the fact that they are still generally little and still need me as little people. But I see glimpses of who they will be someday and I feel so proud. They have similarities to me and my husband, but they also have their own unique make-up as people and I feel so lucky that they are my children. I credit my Heavenly Father in His amazing creation of life. I thank Him every day for entrusting my husband and I with these special spirits. What kind of mother am I? That’s really hard to answer because I feel I continually adapt with each new change. But I can tell you that I am their mother and that is who I am. In everything I do these days; in all my responsibilities—I am mom first before I am anything else. My daughter calls me mommy. My son calls me momma. And in my head it all plays out in a sing-song tune. Happy Motherhood!